Eye of The Tiger...

I'm disappointed and angry at Tiger Woods as a father, a husband, and a person of color. His conduct has been appalling and we need to stop making excuses that all professional athletes act this way or it's OK if your wealthy. It's time to draw a line in the sand and say there is right and wrong and you can't cross that line regardless of your fame and fortune. Whether from a secular or religious standpoint, this is wrong.

One of the yearly rituals I enjoy is watching a lot of football during and after Thanksgiving. So imagine my surprise when the football broadcast was interrupted with the news flash "Tiger Woods involved in a single car accident". My first thoughts were, is he alright, will he play golf again, what caused the accident, were drugs or alcohol involved? I was truly saddened and afraid that we may have lost one of the greatest athletes of our generation. I had no ideal that we had, just not in the way originally feared.

As soon as my wife heard about the accident and the few details at the time, leaving at 2:20 a.m., ran into a tree, etc., she immediately said "I think he's having an affair". I looked at her like she was crazy and challenged her assertion. Why would she jump to that conclusion when all we know is he had an accident. She couldn't articulate why she believed he was having an affair other than it was a gut feeling on her part. Of course I dismissed this as typical female paranoia and chastised her for jumping to a negative conclusion. And then we started to hear the rest of the story.

For the few who haven't heard, Tiger apparently has maintained relationships outside of his marriage for several years with several different women. One in New York, one in San Diego, hookups in Australia, and the list goes on and on. Tiger didn't come out and admit the affairs in his "apology", just claimed he wasn't perfect and wanted to deal with his transgressions privately. Talk about putting sugar on s**t and calling it candy! His actions really appalled me on several fronts.

First, it's not about the money. Several commentators have wondered what will happen to all of Tiger's endorsement deals. If Tiger never earned a new dollar and had to live off of his earnings to date, he would not only live a comfortable life, but a life of luxury few human beings could imagine, let alone relate to. He is touted as the first Billion (with a B) dollar athlete so believe me it's not the money. It's about his wife, family, and the general attitude towards his cheating.

We don't know much about his wife Elin other than she was a nanny of another professional golfer when Tiger was introduced to her. She was a model for a short time prior to that. She has remained out of the spotlight until now. What we do know is Tiger married her and they made a sacred vow to each other which has been violated multiple times in unconscionable fashion. For several years with at least three women (as of the time of this writing, more were coming forward), Tiger has been unfaithful. These affairs have been going on since the outset of his marriage and continued through the birth of his children until he was busted on Thanksgiving. These weren't one night stands, or with a former high school sweet heart, or some other scenario you could rationalize as a one time indiscretion. This is a lifestyle for him, ingrained in the fabric of his being. How embarrassing, humiliating, and devastating to find this out about your spouse along with the entire world.

Tiger has two children approximately two years old and a newborn. They are too young to know what's going on, but it won't be long before they are in school and old enough to understand the looks, taunts, and teasing about their father. And by then, will their parents still be together? Elin may very well decide to leave her husband after all that has occurred. If that were to happen, then you have two children being raised by a single parent, with a very negative image of a father figure. This is not good no matter how much money you have.

Finally, I was disappointed as an African American. I realize Tiger has a varied ethnicity, but he is still a person of color. All of these years, it was refreshing to see a positive image of a person of color. Articulate, intelligent, No tattoos covering his arms and chest. All of the negative stereotypes so easily attributed to a dark skinned man were shattered by Tiger Woods on the grandest of stages. He was the new example of what to strive for. Now, he's just another brother cheating on his wife.

Day(s) I will never forget...

I'm too young to remember Pearl Harbor or the assassinations of the sixties (JFK, Martin Luther King, etc.). I barely remember the kidnappings and deaths at the Munich Olympics in the seventies. Having just missed being a member of the Baby Boom generation, the events I remember started in the 80's. Unfortunately, in the past three decades there has been plenty to remember. The Challenger explosion, Oklahoma City Bombing, a second space shuttle disaster, and what many are remembering today, the World Trade Center attack. Why do these horrible events, and many others, create the milestones in our lives even more so than the wonderful events (weddings, births of children, etc.)?

First, these disasters are totally unexpected. Many individuals expect to get married or to eventually have children. We even acknowledge the fact we won't live forever and expect/anticipate our own death and the death of others. But we never expect the type of horrific events mentioned above. Some are terrible accidents such as the shuttle explosions. These are unexpected because we have such faith in technology and the people (NASA) overseeing these events. A delayed launch, sure, but not total failure like a catastrophic explosion. Likewise, we know there are troubled individuals out there, but never expect someone being capable of taking hundreds or even thousands of lives in purposeful attacks such as Oklahoma City or the World Trade Center.

Second, the magnitude of these events is overwhelming. We hear and read about terrible events all the time. Car wrecks, drownings, murders, etc. But these milestone events are beyond comprehension and dominate the news and our conversations/thoughts for weeks, months, even years to come.

Finally, our lives are changed literally and figuratively from the day of those events forward. Sometimes this is an intangible change. Were nervous now when there is a space launch or hold our breaths when they come home. Maybe were more suspicious of others or no longer fill safe in places or ways we did before the catastrophic event. In the case of 911, the changes can be very tangible. The extra security at airports or items we can no longer bring on the plane, etc.

I was working for Southwest Airlines when 911 occurred. The first plane struck before I left for work and the second struck just before I pulled into the parking lot. I remember arriving at the building just as they were locking down headquarters. The only reason I got in the building is because I knew the security guard at the entrance I normally entered at. Throughout the rest of the day we were glued to the television sets and all business was shut down. Eventually the Pentagon was attacked and we were hoping/praying that none of our planes were hijacked. We wouldn't know for several hours, until all flights nation wide were grounded, that we hadn't lost any co-workers. I remember wondering (somewhat selfishly) if there would still be public air transportation in the near future or if I would still have a job. Not a proud moment but it was how I felt at the time. Southwest Airlines Headquarters is right next to the main runways. Normally you have flights taking off and landing literally every minute of the day. When all flights were grounded the silence was deafening. I was scared for myself, my co-workers, my family and for my country. It was a fear I had never experienced before and to be honest, wasn't sure how to handle.

I will never forget the day flights were resumed. The time of the first flight from Love Field was announced and all non-essential employees gathered outside of headquarters to watch it take off. There was a moment of prayer and as we watched the plane taxi onto the runway, a lady in the crowd started singing God Bless America. By the time she ended, everyone had joined in just as the plane lifted off. The feeling of joy and pride I felt was so strong I literally had to go down to one knee. Watching that plane take off was like watching a banner unfold that said "You Did Not Win, We Are Not Defeated!". Many were crying and just hugged one another for several moments before going back inside. I knew there would still be a lot of changes but also new that whatever the new normal was, I could handle it.

A lot has happened since 9/11. I'm now married, have children, and have a wonderful immediate and extended family. 9/11 will always be a milestone in my life and I will never forget the events of that day. But 9/11 will not define who I am or destroy my faith in God. Nor will it lessen my confidence in people, in particular Americans, to overcome the incomprehensible and thrive in the aftermath.

Have a Blessed Day

Irony of Owning Your Own Business...

Five years ago I started dreaming about owning my own business. Just about anyone who has been in Corporate America long enough has thought to themselves, if only I was in charge. Well, I decided to make the jump. I left my position in middle management for a Fortune 500 Company and used my life savings at the time to invest in a franchise. I had done it!

I had done it alright! Three months into the small business I had gone through most of my working capital and was facing the real prospect of having to shut it down. Fortunately, I had pretty good support from the franchise corporate office and was able to turn things around. I made it through my first year! Usually a sign that your going to make it in the long run. Year two and eventually year three passed and I had purchased a new company vehicle and had hired an employee. I thought I was literally and figuratively living the American Dream! Then year four came along.

The business I had was a custom window treatment business, blinds, draperies, shutters, etc. So it was closely tied to the housing industry. And unfortunately for me, my territory was comprised 80% of new housing. So during year four (2008) the bottom fell out of my business as the bottom fell out from underneath the housing industry. We shut it down in December of 2008.

But all is well right? With over 20 years experience in the business world, most of which was with Big Four (Accounting) and Fortune 500 companies I would be a hot commodity now that I had four years of starting and running a fairly successful business. The downfall had been because of the economy, not some hair brained ideal that went awry. So I would be fine right? WRONG! Owning and operating my own business provided me great general business experience. But it didn't translate back to the business world. No one said, wow, you can do just about everything, let's see what you can do for us! Everyone wanted to know what had you done SPECIFICALLY lately. So having my own business for four years was almost like having a four year gap in my resume! No one cared about the small business! Sure, they were empathetic about my situation but I might as well have been doing nothing as far as it related to getting another job. I had to re-work my resume to de-emphasize the four years of having the business and go all the way back to my middle management days in Corporate America. So I had two choices, start a new business which would leverage my most recent experience or scratch and claw my way back in to the corporate world I had "dreamed" of leaving. Considering I no longer had the money to start any business of much substance this was a great choice to have huh?

So what is the moral of this story? Don't start a small business? Never leave Corporate America? Never go back to Corporate America? Once you leave you can't go back? Actually, it's none of these. The moral of this story is education and proper planning. Before you "make the jump" to start your own business, understand that the longer your in business, the more challenging it will be to go back into the corporate workforce if you change your mind later. Typically, the longer you've been in business, the more successful you have been and the less likely you will want to go back. But considering that most small businesses don't make it for a variety of reasons, more likely than not, you will be trying to go back sooner versus later. So knowing that, how do you prepare?

First of all, either start networking or continue to maintain the networks you've already started. This will be invaluable to you in the long run. Sure there are job message boards like CareerBuilder, Monster.com, etc. But you and about 5,000 other people are applying for each job they post. If your going to find a new job, there is a 90% chance it is going to be through a contact you have, personal or professional, not through these job message boards which are just the modern day classified ads.

Second, don't burn any bridges you may want to cross back over later. You can remain cordial and periodically meet former colleagues for lunch etc. just to stay in touch. This way, you have advocates for you in the corporate world if you find you need to return.

Finally, be humble. The greatest mistake I made was believing that there was no way I could fail. I'm not saying don't give 100% to the business. Just understand that good isn't always good enough and things beyond your control can bring you down. Having a Plan B and maintaining a safety net are not a sign of weakness or that you aren't committed. It's just plain smart.

Hope this blog helped.

Good Luck and God Bless!

The Ordinary Man